Without prejudice

I am more of a voyeur than a participant at sex parties; this is mainly due to my preference for getting to know people I sleep with. I can see the appeal of swinging, but I am more into the open relationship side of things.

I like the increased intimacy that comes with regular secondary partners; also, I can ask them to get tested. It’s hard when one is getting hot and heavy with someone you don’t know intimately to ask about STD status. We, as hosts, are very aware of the risks, which is why we ask people to leave if they’re drunk. Another requirement of attendance is that there is no taking of drugs as one it’s illegal and two, like alcohol, impairs judgment. We also provide goody bags with condoms and advice.

When I start a new relationship with a secondary or any new relationship in my monogamous past, I generally ask my partner to get tested. My last monogamous relationship before my current lifestyle stopped before it started. I asked the guy about getting tested; he was very insulted and said he only went with ‘nice’ girls. I am not sure what he meant by that STDs don’t discriminate based on personality; anyone can contract them. I told him that, and I also told him that someone could have an STD and not know it; he still refused to get tested and was surprised when I refused to date him.


Always get tested when going into a new relationship and make sure your partner gets tested and leave judgmental language like nice, nasty, dirty clean out of it. Remember, anyone can get an STD, and it’s better to know and not pass it on.

There would be fewer people infected if there was less judgment and stigma surrounding STDs and more open conversation.

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